My motivation for life is to be at peace. To feel balanced and calm and appreciate what is, not focusing on what isn’t. I am inspired by the serenity prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Consistently applying a focus of gratitude allows my life to be transformed, its not about hiding from negative influences but celebrating life’s beauty, which in turn seems to bring more to be grateful for.
Taking charge of how I respond to life, allows me the choice to have peace if I really want it, - given that I cannot control others.
Life to me is a journey, not a destination. That means I can choose to accept, enjoy or absolutely love each moment of that journey – no matter how challenging. Not just waiting for a desired outcome.
My life so far has taught me that all the material wealth in the world does not equate to a contented life.
As a young girl, I knew clearly that I wanted to be an artist, a teacher, to be happily married, to raise four children and have financial security. I was gradually able to achieve all of this and more. I was grateful for this and I enjoyed many aspects of my wonderful life.
BUT I realised that there was something missing, something that I really needed . . . a feeling of peace and happiness, but as the years flew past, no amount of trying was getting me there. Until eventually....
I was used to being busy. I was also an enthusiastic community worker and liked to help others wherever possible. This way of life proved to be exhausting. With my constant giving to others and my need for appreciation, driving me beyond healthy limits. I had a perfectionist mentality that at times resulted in exhaustion which I blamed on others. At the time I believed that by helping others, happiness would automatically come to me.
It was around the time of my 40th birthday when things started to shift. I was noticing more often that I didn’t feel great about myself and many relationships were beginning to falter. Things got on top of me and I couldn’t stop the constant, negative thoughts and worries that kept me up at night.
After some major upsets followed by some serious soul searching, I realised that peace and calm WAS available, but not with material things or by relying on other people for my happiness. Rather, I needed a different way of looking at life.
It WAS all there for me in a way I had never considered . . . as personal acceptance of who I am, taking responsibility for my own happiness, and believing in myself.
This wasn't something I was use to doing, but once I started down this path it became easier and easier. To see myself with loving eyes and speak to myself respectfully - it was such a change! My life started to really change too, I became happier, more relaxed. I let go controlling things, I enjoyed myself and my relationships.
I started saying ‘no’ to doing things I didn’t want to do. I started not offering! I began to notice when I was putting myself out and when I was pushing myself too hard. I started to see who was beneficial for me to be around and who wasn’t. I began taking some time out for myself and treating myself better, taking charge of what I wanted from life.
As I was enjoying feeling so good I saw that I had far more energy too. I began to research this topic and realised there was lots of information, in many different forms, that I could apply to my life.
At first it wasn’t easy to take on the ‘self love’ stuff and I was reluctant to believe some of the info I was reading about how important it was to love and approve of myself. However, as I began applying the principals to my life and my relationships, I found that they worked for me. I began thinking in a new way, using my thoughts to benefit me rather than hinder me. Speaking positively to myself rather than the usual personal put-downs.
I was a blamer and found it easy to hold a grudge – for years. I began to forgive and let things go. I employed all the techniques I was learning about and I became more balanced, more secure about relationships and about who I was.
I found the more I became aware of my own thinking patterns, the better I could change them. What I previously called a disaster, turned into a growth experience. I discovered my fears and my beliefs had been holding me back.
I now find that life no longer lives me – I live life.
The peace is here – everyday, and I know the way back if I get lost.
It is a blessing to get up each day knowing that I can share this knowledge with others and continue my journey of personal growth.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today
My techniques and tools
Some of the other methods I use in my work are: Interactive drawing therapy(IDT), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Hypnotherapy, Neurolinguistic Therapy (NLP). I offer a range of books, CD’s and DVD resources to borrow or buy to support your evolution and a wide range of tools to assist you.